I’ve always known what this is but didn’t know there was a term for it. By definition on Wikipedia:
Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms or supports one’s prior beliefs or values. It is an important type of cognitive bias that has a significant effect on the proper functioning of society by distorting evidence-based decision-making.
I imagine we’ve all fallen prey to this. When our friends say what a jerk our ex is, whether they believe it or not, but we tend to seek out answers that comfort us or make sense to use based on what we believe to be true or already think we know. Or when we actually seek and research just to find evidence that supports our conclusions.
But the key here is to remain open and objective. To really step outside ourselves and see things for what they are, even if it’s an ugly trait in ourselves. Something I’ve been working on for years…”seeing things as they are”. Not just what I want them to be.
We are not doing ourselves and others around us justice when we do this. And it’s not easy. It’s the classic “step into somebody else’s shoes”. Or look at it from another perspective. Consider other’s reactions and or their own biases, emotions, and rationalism surrounding a situation.
I do know, the closest people in my life tell me the truth. At least they way they see it. Even if it hurts me. And I can’t take it as hurt because I know the intent as long as it’s said with love. I do not consider myself a sensitive person, although an empath and extremely sensitive to others, I have thick skin.
And I cannot control my surroundings or others’ reactions. I just can live every day with honor and integrity, be able to look myself in the mirror and be proud of who I am (mistakes and all), and be compassionate towards others.
So, consider next time any biases in a situation, whether you’re the “victim” or the one giving advice. There are always at least two perspectives.
