I had an interesting, as always, conversation with an anthropologist recently. The differences between culture and lifestyle aren’t actually exclusive of each other, they likely coincide, but not always simultaneously. I LOVE my life in Southern California. I love my lifestyle. The things that I define as important to me are simplicity, flexibility, freedom and beauty. I love being surrounded by sunshine and water as it calms me yet empowers me. I rarely set an alarm, am extremely active and outdoors, and enjoy the healthy way of life here. There are many like-minded people with similar lifestyles as mine which is both relatable and nurturing. Although I cherish differences in people, there is plenty of that too.
But culture. That’s another thing. Perhaps we’re more laid back in SoCal, but we Americans work too much. I think I work a lot often as a distraction from my loneliness. And perhaps the fact I own my business so it’s hard to “walk away”. And I love what I do, so I’m grateful for what I’ve created. But what is our culture here? People are friendly, but seem to be more guarded. They’re not as neighborly and don’t have the “Ohio car wave”. I’m in the suburbs so it’s family-oriented, I suppose, but seems like parents are exhausted and children are spending less quality time together with so much school, sports, and activities. We go too much. I’m guilty as well.
I’m very self-aware, so although it’s hard for me to take a day off, I recognize when I need it. I usually head to the ocean to decompress, breathe, and remember I’m a small piece of this vast moment in time. I reach out to friends, or a man to hold me. Sometimes that’s all I want. To me, it’s simple; but finding that connection where two lifestyles connect at the same time seems distant.
Although I don’t want to put any parameters on my life and often fly by the seat of my pants, I just have a gut feeling I won’t end up with a guy from SoCal. I will either be with my Midwestern roots or a foreigner. I identify with the friendliness and wholesomeness of a Midwesterner, but in many ways there’s a closed-mindedness and conservative demeanor that now deters me. But the foreigners, obviously depending on culture, seem to have a greater perspective of what makes things turn. They’re often more open-minded, liberal, and knowledgable of the world and have traveled to back up their opinions with experience. They speak many languages and seem to have deeper connections emotionally because of this. I need a deep connector.
“They” call men in San Diego…”Peter Pan Diegos”, aka men who don’t want to grow up. Well, not that I want to grow up either- I’m still a 10-year-old little girl at heart and yes, play in the sand and splash in the waves every moment I get. But, I can also be mature and serious about life and it’s intentions and purposes. I, too, have traveled much with an open heart and become extremely empathetic over time. Not just to blame San Diego, but the online culture we’re in of instant gratification and entitlement. There are so many beautiful people here, and people don’t have to put in a lot of effort to get to know anybody anymore. If there’s not an instant connection (whatever it is people are expecting), just swipe away and there’s another person right around the corner of your phone. And if you say one “wrong” thing, it supposedly deserves ghosting in their mind. Doesn’t matter if things are lost in “textlation”. Not given a chance. Moving on.
So, I guess I’m still trying to figure it all out. The balance of “having it all”…and truly defining that lifestyle and culture combination I desire. I want to surround myself with beautiful and intelligent people. I want a simple life, but with accomplishment and purpose.
Most of all, I want love.
Wherever that is.
I tend to follow it.
