I most definitely do NOT have the answers, nor would I pretend to. You know how they say “the more you know, the more you realize you don’t know!”? That’s how I often feel. It’s like each time I think something about one guy, it’s the opposite with the other. I have very protective (appreciate!!!) friends, that are so frustrated by the way guys are treating me. But, I’m somehow allowing it, and/or choosing the wrong men. We teach people how to treat us, right? The golden rule doesn’t seem to exist here, because I’m SO giving and good to people, and get little in return. I’m working on being more selective.
There are so many “dont’s” and “supposed-to’s”, such as:
- Don’t be too eager or desperate
- Show that you have your own life, but are interested
- Don’t text or reach out too frequently
- Don’t talk about ex’s
- Don’t kiss or especially have sex on the first date (I have another post coming about this one!)
- Don’t dominate conversations
- Don’t talk about marriage or children
- You’re supposed to be dressed to the nines
- Don’t chase him
On and on and on. Frankly, I’m tired of having to think about what to do. I just want to be me, because you know what!? I think the “me” is pretty great. And overall, I’m very empathetic and aware of my surroundings. I feel the energy of others and try to match it. So, I suppose that’s natural for me whereas others need to try harder. So, my rule of thumb is BE YOU! Work on YOU! That NEVER ends. Having self-awareness is the greatest gift you can gift yourself and others.
If I go on a date and haven’t shaved my legs (um, very likely) and that actually bothers a guy, well damn, not the guy for me. If they can’t overlook my great qualities and yes, I put in effort- a LOT of effort to the right people, then please allow me to be myself. I’m natural, casual, honest, active and yes, I’m sorry, HATE shaving my legs.
There will always be stubble. Get used to it.
