You are my world.
My love.
My companionship.
My reason.
My sunshine.
My air.
My purpose.
My excuse.
My baby.
My family.
I tell you “I love you” a million times a day as I scratch behind your ears – my favorite and softest spot. And I ask you if you know it, waiting for a nod or a wink. But you feel it. There is soul behind those beautiful, big brown doe-like eyes. I’ve spent 10 years with you by my side, protecting me and making me laugh and love. What a lucky and beautiful 10 years.
This roller coaster of aging is almost unbearable. I cannot speak of my pain because I do not want to focus on it, but it is severe. I want to enjoy these precious moments I still have that I can physically touch. I can feel her. I am so grateful.
I know this is part of it. Loving and losing. It’s never long enough. Kali saved me when Jasper suddenly passed. I want to thank her for rescuing me then. She didn’t even know it, it was her pure existence. Through every emotion and hard time and transition I’ve had, she’s been there. To get me outside when I didn’t feel like moving, to get me off the couch, to focus on something other than my sadness.
But it’s not just the hard times pets help us with, it’s the fun we’ve had.
The walks early on the beach with you running at me with the biggest smile, feeling free. The happiness you have with the simplest of things- my presence, a touch, a look – counting on each other. We know each other’s depth and every movement. Your kisses – never wet, but nonstop. Your dopey face when I scratch your chest…it’s the only thing that makes you pause for a moment. Your love for chasing the cats – that stare you get when I know you’re about to chase them. Petey crying for me to come get him because you won’t let him pass (even when you’re lying there half asleep- presumably with one eye open). How you bark EVERY time I hug somebody- I’d have to warn them not to be scared – it was just you being you- protecting mama…or alerting them “she’s mine!”. The way you snap in people’s faces when you get excited! Our walks – the best time of all – you put your leash in your mouth and walk yourself at first – it’s the cutest thing. The lagoon, around the apartment, sitting at the beach, going to the baseball field, & sunsets. When we’d go to the baseball field and you’d heel, stop, stay, change your pace…all because you were 100% in tune with me…not because I trained you. You were meant to be by my side.
I never taught you anything. You came perfect. Just like humans, we all have our imperfections, but we accept and love without condition. We have become so ingrained into each other’s every movement and breath. I know you because you are me. We are one.
My Goddess Kali, the things you teach me – presence, acceptance, unconditionality, protection, silence, fierceness, peace, loyalty, trust, laughter, companionship, strength, resilience, loss, & of course, unequivocally, love ♥️
Goddess Kali is a significant figure in Hinduism, known as the goddess of time, creation, preservation, and destruction, often associated with the fierce aspect of Shakti. Depicted with black skin, a wild mane, and a garland of skulls, she is shown in her fierce forms as a destroyer of evil and in her benevolent forms as a protective mother. Her iconography symbolizes the dissolution of the ego, the slaying of ignorance, and the acceptance of death and destruction. Kali represents the cosmic cycle of destruction and rebirth, where endings are not an ultimate termination but a necessary step toward new beginnings. She embodies the ultimate reality of life, death, and renewal, acting as a force for transformation.
